Last week I was speaking with someone about the concept of “success to significance” and its associated terms. I was asked how I defined “success” within this idea. I thought about it and gave a long pause. I could only imagine if my wife was there and telling me to just give a simple answer or some of my friends telling me not to overanalyze and not to be a rabble-rouser.
I finally replied, “Sorry, I just don’t think within such a framework. Maybe I would say it’s more about influence and impact.”
After this afternoon chat, where we touched upon other topics, I came back to the idea of “success to significance” that evening. It had been several years since I read Bob Buford’s “Half Time.” It really didn’t speak to me back then and I realized even more so today. I’ve attended some conferences inspired by “Half Time” which primarily targeted very successful businessmen in their 50s and beyond, and gained a great amount of insight and inspiration. I was one of the thirty-something attendees blessed enough to attend and learn from those with more experience and wisdom from life.
The concept of “success to significance” does speaks well to successful business owners or Fortune 500 executives in their 50s and beyond, especially those who were consumed by their drive towards their goals of success. But the yearning question for me since that afternoon chat was, “Why is a successful life bifurcated?”
The big picture concept of “Half Time” is that there is the first half of life where people focus on achieving their successes and the second half where you can refocus (or recommit to God) on being significant in your life mission for God. This would typically translate into more time and commitment to church or some ministry. I don’t believe it was intentionally stated, but this transition lessens the significance of work.
In rereading “Half Time” this past week, I didn’t understand why these concepts couldn’t be applied to those in the “first half” of their lives. This bifurcation of church and work; business and nonprofit work; Sunday and the rest of the week are concepts I previously identified (“Cultural Cocktails: Biblical Faith and Work with a Splash of Eastern and Western Philosophies”) as fruits of dualism from Western philosophies and not a biblical perspective of living our lives. The idea of “success to significance” seems to be a continuation of dualism that is core to Western culture and which heavily influences the church in the U.S.
If I were to take a cynical viewpoint of this concept, I would say that it’s excusing successful people for placing God second or lower in their lives during their first half. In reality, I know that it does speak well to many, allows them to recommit their lives to God and creates an impact for God in many areas. But this is not a message or a model for a wider audience. This is not a concept to behold for future generations.
From the start of a career, people should constantly be seeking and praying for their calling whether a corporate career, tech entrepreneur, restaurant owner, physician, school teacher or missionary. This calling is a person’s ministry and sphere of influence. Not a means to a ministry, but how God will use you to reach others. People should be constantly defining their life’s mission and aligning their goals with God’s goals for their lives.
A few years ago my parents successfully sold their coffee chain, took a year off to travel, and began praying about their next business. My mother is definitely a person that wants to work until she passes. Both of them want to stay active, but they were patient about their next business and really wanted God’s hand upon it. I remember them telling me that they regret not being truly committed to God as they worked hard, stressed out and sold their last business. They really wanted to commit everything to prayer and rely on God in all matters of their next business idea. My parents told me not to wait until I was in my fifties to realize this truth, but to really submit to God now and seek out his will. After hearing their earnestness, I heard and understood the regret in their voices. So it echoes within my heart as I write this and say to myself, “I don’t want to experience a half time in my life or to find significance in my faith after success. I want my faith to be integrated into the life I lead today.”
Originally published at InsideWork.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, January 26, 2009
Cultural Cocktails: Biblical Faith and Work with a Splash of Eastern and Western Philosophies
Rereading an earlier post (Is Your Work Less Valuable), I deliberated on how much of our faith is influenced by past cultures and other worldviews. I looked into my own upbringing that straddled Eastern and Western cultures. My parents immigrated to the U.S. from Korea when I was one year old and I grew up in suburban Chicago where Asian Americans where the second largest minority (approximately 5%) after the Jewish community (approximately 40%), and I attended a Korean American church from my junior high years through college.
The influences of Confucian and Buddhist philosophies led to subtle differences between mainstream U.S. and Korean American churches. One amusing feature was that morning prayer time in Korean American churches was flooded once each year with mothers praying for their children’s SAT exams (the same phenomenon occurs in South Korea during the national college entrance exams). I don’t suppose it was amusing to those mothers, some of whom would pray for hours the same repetitive prayer (which seemed to me to confuse the notion of grace and work). This fervent style of praying might leave outsiders thinking all Koreans are Pentecostal, but this style was distributed across the board, even within more subdued denominations like Korean Lutherans or Methodists. (Not that I’m anyone to talk. I’m a practical person and not very righteous, so when it comes to praying, I think it would be far more effective to ask one of my upright, godly friends to pray for me for a few minutes than for me to pray for 10 hours straight. But I digress.)
One influence of Confucianism in Korean culture was evident in the careers that first generation Korean American parents emphasized to their children. I call them the three P’s: physician, professor and pastor. The honored class in Confucianism is the “scholar” and all three P’s are generally considered scholarly. Physician was always number one and what parents obsessed about. Sandra Oh’s character in Grey’s Anatomy is not the only Korean American you’ll see at a hospital. I can think of at least 10 “Cristina Yangs” I know off the bat. The second tier of acceptable professions would be in academia and a reason why South Korea was typically number one or two in the number of PhDs per capita. The last of the top three was entering the ministry. While not universally welcomed by parents, it was an acceptable option in many families.
The Western influence — and the primary foundation of my thinking — expressed the ideals held by most Americans. One aspect of this is the foundational philosophy of dualism, which traces its roots to Plato through René Descartes. Without going into the complexities, a basic influence of dualism is the separation of the spiritual or mental substances and physical substances, with no relationship between the two. You could picture a higher plane of life containing the spiritual substances and a lower plane housing the physical.
Dualism enabled many of us to grow up compartmentalizing our lives. This eased us into the role of “Sunday believers” since there is a “natural” separation between church and the rest of the week. This may be a reason why some “Christian” businessmen can be the most unscrupulous professionals you’ve met, since they can subdivide their conscience employing the “this is business” rationale.
Outside the church, dualism became evident to me through my involvement in two post-graduate programs at the intersection of the public and private sectors: the Public Policy program at Columbia University and the Coro Fellowship. The Coro Fellowship, a leadership development program for those interested in public service, sent about two-thirds of participants into the government and nonprofit sectors and one-third into the for-profit world. I saw a similar distribution in the Public Policy program at Columbia: 2/3 to government and nonprofit, 1/3 to business. What surprised me in these two programs at the confluence of human ideals and professional development was finding a measure of disdain for those of us who entered private industry. As if our choice repudiated of what we’d just experienced together by choosing to work on the lower plane.
I am no longer surprised to find evidence of this dualism in the world of believers. There is separation of church and work; Sunday and the rest of the week; faith and execution. Ambition for work is bad and sacrificing work is good. What happened to the stewardship of ALL that God gives us? Did Joseph choose to leave his day job as second in command only to the Pharaoh of Egypt and look for a less demanding “9 to 5″ job so he could volunteer more at church?
Joseph took his work to heart and glorified God in the best manner possible. The difference lay in his worldview which did not separate between his spiritual and physical worlds. Each was connected and united with the other. Even the word lev — the Hebrew word for heart — encompasses not only the heart and emotion but our intellect and mind. This biblical perspective doesn’t compartmentalize our worlds; it creates a holistic understanding of our lives.
I will acknowledge that taking such an approach might make life more complex and highlights tensions between the various circles of ours lives. But isn’t life about tension? Doesn’t this make things more exciting? To think about actually implementing our faith in our business decisions and professional relationships? To actually be salt and light outside of the salt mines and sunlit mountaintops?
Originally posted at InsideWork (no longer an active site).
The influences of Confucian and Buddhist philosophies led to subtle differences between mainstream U.S. and Korean American churches. One amusing feature was that morning prayer time in Korean American churches was flooded once each year with mothers praying for their children’s SAT exams (the same phenomenon occurs in South Korea during the national college entrance exams). I don’t suppose it was amusing to those mothers, some of whom would pray for hours the same repetitive prayer (which seemed to me to confuse the notion of grace and work). This fervent style of praying might leave outsiders thinking all Koreans are Pentecostal, but this style was distributed across the board, even within more subdued denominations like Korean Lutherans or Methodists. (Not that I’m anyone to talk. I’m a practical person and not very righteous, so when it comes to praying, I think it would be far more effective to ask one of my upright, godly friends to pray for me for a few minutes than for me to pray for 10 hours straight. But I digress.)
One influence of Confucianism in Korean culture was evident in the careers that first generation Korean American parents emphasized to their children. I call them the three P’s: physician, professor and pastor. The honored class in Confucianism is the “scholar” and all three P’s are generally considered scholarly. Physician was always number one and what parents obsessed about. Sandra Oh’s character in Grey’s Anatomy is not the only Korean American you’ll see at a hospital. I can think of at least 10 “Cristina Yangs” I know off the bat. The second tier of acceptable professions would be in academia and a reason why South Korea was typically number one or two in the number of PhDs per capita. The last of the top three was entering the ministry. While not universally welcomed by parents, it was an acceptable option in many families.
The Western influence — and the primary foundation of my thinking — expressed the ideals held by most Americans. One aspect of this is the foundational philosophy of dualism, which traces its roots to Plato through René Descartes. Without going into the complexities, a basic influence of dualism is the separation of the spiritual or mental substances and physical substances, with no relationship between the two. You could picture a higher plane of life containing the spiritual substances and a lower plane housing the physical.
Dualism enabled many of us to grow up compartmentalizing our lives. This eased us into the role of “Sunday believers” since there is a “natural” separation between church and the rest of the week. This may be a reason why some “Christian” businessmen can be the most unscrupulous professionals you’ve met, since they can subdivide their conscience employing the “this is business” rationale.
Outside the church, dualism became evident to me through my involvement in two post-graduate programs at the intersection of the public and private sectors: the Public Policy program at Columbia University and the Coro Fellowship. The Coro Fellowship, a leadership development program for those interested in public service, sent about two-thirds of participants into the government and nonprofit sectors and one-third into the for-profit world. I saw a similar distribution in the Public Policy program at Columbia: 2/3 to government and nonprofit, 1/3 to business. What surprised me in these two programs at the confluence of human ideals and professional development was finding a measure of disdain for those of us who entered private industry. As if our choice repudiated of what we’d just experienced together by choosing to work on the lower plane.
I am no longer surprised to find evidence of this dualism in the world of believers. There is separation of church and work; Sunday and the rest of the week; faith and execution. Ambition for work is bad and sacrificing work is good. What happened to the stewardship of ALL that God gives us? Did Joseph choose to leave his day job as second in command only to the Pharaoh of Egypt and look for a less demanding “9 to 5″ job so he could volunteer more at church?
Joseph took his work to heart and glorified God in the best manner possible. The difference lay in his worldview which did not separate between his spiritual and physical worlds. Each was connected and united with the other. Even the word lev — the Hebrew word for heart — encompasses not only the heart and emotion but our intellect and mind. This biblical perspective doesn’t compartmentalize our worlds; it creates a holistic understanding of our lives.
I will acknowledge that taking such an approach might make life more complex and highlights tensions between the various circles of ours lives. But isn’t life about tension? Doesn’t this make things more exciting? To think about actually implementing our faith in our business decisions and professional relationships? To actually be salt and light outside of the salt mines and sunlit mountaintops?
Originally posted at InsideWork (no longer an active site).
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Clueless Bosses
I came across this in BusinessWeek from Enron whistleblower Sherron Watkins:
As for clueless bosses, I’d have to include Key Lay, Enron’s former CEO, in that category. Clueless is far worse than toxic, because at least with toxic you can begin to predict behaviors. With clueless, what you’d expect from a boss can vary widely from their actual behavior. Crooks are much easier to deal with than fools.
This took me back to one of the startups I was involved with. One of the CEOs was pretty clueless. It was a company with less than 40 people and he did not know what was going on with more than half the operations during any given time. One business line with less than 40 people! Sometimes he would catch up and be up-to-date on one team but behind 3 months in the other three divisions of the company.
We didn’t catch on initially because he was actually pretty good at covering up his cluelessness. During meetings he would focus on the topics he knew well or just pretend to listen on the other important conversations when he actually wasn’t. He was also adept at getting us to focus on topics he felt comfortable with by throwing tantrums or telling an amusing story. (In relation to Dan Wooldridge’s article The Boss from Hell, this person would be an “incompetent boss” with an additional factor of bad intent.)
The frustrating thing in dealing with this clueless CEO was that the means of knowledge were at his fingertips. He might have had ADD, but the topics he ignored in meetings were not incomprehensible. All our documents and notes were emailed to him and placed in an online repository. His worst characteristic was that he would actually get upset at people when he wanted certain information and accused people of being incompetent or lazy when everything was available at his fingertips.
Within a year of experiencing this CEO, I realized that when Ken Lay said he didn’t know what was happening at Enron, it was probably true. He was clueless. If this CEO of a small startup could be clueless, I realized others like him could have moved up the ladders of corporate America.
So how do you deal with such a CEO? Move for the board to remove the CEO? Walk away? Ask God for continued patience?
Once I realized the nature of the problem I tried to address it in a variety of ways (I tried an indirect approach, direct, through proxies, and finally confrontational approaches.) Nothing I tried made a difference.
Some colleagues said I hung in there too long. I don’t know; I tried to give it my best shot. I learned that some people just can’t or won’t change or improve. When the circumstances demand it, I think people have to do what Sherron Watkins did when she blew the whistle at Enron. This startup wasn’t that kind of thing. Eventually I just walked away.
Originally posted at InsideWork.
As for clueless bosses, I’d have to include Key Lay, Enron’s former CEO, in that category. Clueless is far worse than toxic, because at least with toxic you can begin to predict behaviors. With clueless, what you’d expect from a boss can vary widely from their actual behavior. Crooks are much easier to deal with than fools.
This took me back to one of the startups I was involved with. One of the CEOs was pretty clueless. It was a company with less than 40 people and he did not know what was going on with more than half the operations during any given time. One business line with less than 40 people! Sometimes he would catch up and be up-to-date on one team but behind 3 months in the other three divisions of the company.
We didn’t catch on initially because he was actually pretty good at covering up his cluelessness. During meetings he would focus on the topics he knew well or just pretend to listen on the other important conversations when he actually wasn’t. He was also adept at getting us to focus on topics he felt comfortable with by throwing tantrums or telling an amusing story. (In relation to Dan Wooldridge’s article The Boss from Hell, this person would be an “incompetent boss” with an additional factor of bad intent.)
The frustrating thing in dealing with this clueless CEO was that the means of knowledge were at his fingertips. He might have had ADD, but the topics he ignored in meetings were not incomprehensible. All our documents and notes were emailed to him and placed in an online repository. His worst characteristic was that he would actually get upset at people when he wanted certain information and accused people of being incompetent or lazy when everything was available at his fingertips.
Within a year of experiencing this CEO, I realized that when Ken Lay said he didn’t know what was happening at Enron, it was probably true. He was clueless. If this CEO of a small startup could be clueless, I realized others like him could have moved up the ladders of corporate America.
So how do you deal with such a CEO? Move for the board to remove the CEO? Walk away? Ask God for continued patience?
Once I realized the nature of the problem I tried to address it in a variety of ways (I tried an indirect approach, direct, through proxies, and finally confrontational approaches.) Nothing I tried made a difference.
Some colleagues said I hung in there too long. I don’t know; I tried to give it my best shot. I learned that some people just can’t or won’t change or improve. When the circumstances demand it, I think people have to do what Sherron Watkins did when she blew the whistle at Enron. This startup wasn’t that kind of thing. Eventually I just walked away.
Originally posted at InsideWork.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Can You Wait on God?
(heads up since this is a religious post and can be ignored:) last time i polled my readers i know the majority of you are here to read about tech and other random posts beside those regarding my faith:)
Sitting in a brainstorming meeting this week, my colleague, Dan, asked an executive team if they could “wait on God?” This was regarding the crafting of a new venture’s strategy. He discussed how typically people want to come to a decision quickly, especially in board rooms and executive meetings.
During this discussion, my mind was jarred to past conversations I’ve had with my parents. They sold their retail coffee chain almost three years ago and initially told me that they would rest a year and then start a new business. So they traveled to various European countries, went to Egypt, forced us to join them on an Alaskan cruise, and other destinations. It was past a year and I remember asking them if they had decided on their next business. They both told me that they are still praying and waiting on God.
“Bernard, our prior business we felt that we didn’t truly seek God’s will, so this time we are praying and waiting for God’s clear direction.”
During the second year of their hiatus, my grandmother became ill so this occupied much of their time. She eventually recovered late last year, so I asked them earlier this year if they had come to a decision. They said that they were still praying and waiting.
So all of this came full circle this week. It took the words of another person, in this case Dan, to provide a better understanding of my parents’ decision process. I am the typically driven person, especially in business, who wants decisions. Ideally within minutes, though I am willing to wait hours for answers. Patient people in the business world are measured in days, possibly weeks. My parents set their decisions within a framework of months and years.
This reminded me of Abraham’s and Moses’ patience as they waited on God’s promise. Their framework was in years and decades. I guess waiting on God takes patience and trust. I’m not sure if I could have waited like Abraham or Moses. I definitely would have gotten into some exhausting debates with myself.
It’s interesting to think about decision processes that take years. Not all situations allow for this, but if I faced one that did, could I wait? Or would my trust in God wear down? How would I maintain that trust in God?
Since college I’ve created ten year plans and roadmaps to where I want to be professionally and what I would like to accomplish during that time, but this is very different from following a decision-making process that incorporates waiting on God. In each stage of my career I’ve felt that God has guided me through open doors towards opportunities that I didn’t know existed. But I am afraid that didn’t happen because I waited on God but in spite of the fact that I was impatient to reach a decision and get on with it.
Joining with the Lunsford Group — InsideWork’s parent company — probably was the longest waiting period I’ve been through and that was only 4 months. God probably knows I’m not ready for frameworks that operate in years.
So it’s interesting to think about God’s time frame. It’s an eternal perspective. The Chinese government makes 100 year plans, but imagine plans for a thousand years? Ten thousand years? A million? Putting it in this perspective, I realize my parents’ process is excellent and something I can learn from. It’s not lost time or opportunity but a true investment in trusting God and gathering the best counsel for the success of their next business. Over the past few months, I’ve been itching to ask them again but now I will just wait on the Lord and pray with them.
“Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him” Isaiah 30:18
Originally posted at InsideWork
Sitting in a brainstorming meeting this week, my colleague, Dan, asked an executive team if they could “wait on God?” This was regarding the crafting of a new venture’s strategy. He discussed how typically people want to come to a decision quickly, especially in board rooms and executive meetings.
During this discussion, my mind was jarred to past conversations I’ve had with my parents. They sold their retail coffee chain almost three years ago and initially told me that they would rest a year and then start a new business. So they traveled to various European countries, went to Egypt, forced us to join them on an Alaskan cruise, and other destinations. It was past a year and I remember asking them if they had decided on their next business. They both told me that they are still praying and waiting on God.
“Bernard, our prior business we felt that we didn’t truly seek God’s will, so this time we are praying and waiting for God’s clear direction.”
During the second year of their hiatus, my grandmother became ill so this occupied much of their time. She eventually recovered late last year, so I asked them earlier this year if they had come to a decision. They said that they were still praying and waiting.
So all of this came full circle this week. It took the words of another person, in this case Dan, to provide a better understanding of my parents’ decision process. I am the typically driven person, especially in business, who wants decisions. Ideally within minutes, though I am willing to wait hours for answers. Patient people in the business world are measured in days, possibly weeks. My parents set their decisions within a framework of months and years.
This reminded me of Abraham’s and Moses’ patience as they waited on God’s promise. Their framework was in years and decades. I guess waiting on God takes patience and trust. I’m not sure if I could have waited like Abraham or Moses. I definitely would have gotten into some exhausting debates with myself.
It’s interesting to think about decision processes that take years. Not all situations allow for this, but if I faced one that did, could I wait? Or would my trust in God wear down? How would I maintain that trust in God?
Since college I’ve created ten year plans and roadmaps to where I want to be professionally and what I would like to accomplish during that time, but this is very different from following a decision-making process that incorporates waiting on God. In each stage of my career I’ve felt that God has guided me through open doors towards opportunities that I didn’t know existed. But I am afraid that didn’t happen because I waited on God but in spite of the fact that I was impatient to reach a decision and get on with it.
Joining with the Lunsford Group — InsideWork’s parent company — probably was the longest waiting period I’ve been through and that was only 4 months. God probably knows I’m not ready for frameworks that operate in years.
So it’s interesting to think about God’s time frame. It’s an eternal perspective. The Chinese government makes 100 year plans, but imagine plans for a thousand years? Ten thousand years? A million? Putting it in this perspective, I realize my parents’ process is excellent and something I can learn from. It’s not lost time or opportunity but a true investment in trusting God and gathering the best counsel for the success of their next business. Over the past few months, I’ve been itching to ask them again but now I will just wait on the Lord and pray with them.
“Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him” Isaiah 30:18
Originally posted at InsideWork
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Loving Your Work
(heads up since this is a religious post)
Thinking about the value of work last week, I reflected on what I enjoy about working. The challenge and satisfaction of creating something...the process of brainstorming and generating ideas...the people I encounter and learn from...others I mentor or help...the excitement of bringing something to market...and so many other experiences I love about work.
I've been blessed to have a career during which I've cherished most of the experiences, respected many of the people I've worked with, and where I’ve been able to grow personally and professionally. Of course, there were situations I didn't enjoy — some I really hated. Working with unethical colleagues...compromising my principles...doing that I didn't want to undertake...and firing people. Still, overall, it has been my approach in life to never have regrets. Whether good or bad occurs, I choose to take stock and move on.
I acknowledge that not everyone has been blessed with work they enjoy. I have an acquaintance who became a doctor out of respect to his parents' wishes (Is it obvious he was Asian American? Maybe not...) but in his heart, what he really wanted was to become an attorney. I always wondered how he approached his work when his heart was somewhere else. I know others who have had bosses from hell, career paths that weren't as interesting as they anticipated, or toiled at dead-end jobs. What would my approach to work be if I was in these situations? Would I still be "happy Bernard" or have my "no regrets" view of life?
I hope I would be the same; but I don't know for sure. Frankly, I hope I never have to find out. I am trying to look at Jesus Christ and his view on life; trying to learn from him. Jesus said, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45 New International Version)
Jesus' statement can be applied to every segment of life. For work, if we take the perspective that we are working to serve others, it allows us to embrace even the most dreadful situation and turn it into something positive. Instead of focusing on ourselves, our goals and desires, it enables us to focus on doing our work well. Period. I suspect this approach wouldn't sit well with the "prosperity movement" since those who have a servant attitude don’t expect any reward.
Of course this doesn't mean we should be impractical or sit there like a log and let people abuse us and take advantage of us. Actually, Jesus does say those inconvenient things about turning the other cheek and going the second mile and loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us... But I don’t see any reason you can’t have a giving attitude while still being a top performer or servant leader.
Jesus was great leader and an incredibly strong person — it’s on every page of the gospels. And he didn't expect a reward; he didn’t come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Somehow, I think that sounds like a game-changer.
Originally posted at InsideWork
Thinking about the value of work last week, I reflected on what I enjoy about working. The challenge and satisfaction of creating something...the process of brainstorming and generating ideas...the people I encounter and learn from...others I mentor or help...the excitement of bringing something to market...and so many other experiences I love about work.
I've been blessed to have a career during which I've cherished most of the experiences, respected many of the people I've worked with, and where I’ve been able to grow personally and professionally. Of course, there were situations I didn't enjoy — some I really hated. Working with unethical colleagues...compromising my principles...doing that I didn't want to undertake...and firing people. Still, overall, it has been my approach in life to never have regrets. Whether good or bad occurs, I choose to take stock and move on.
I acknowledge that not everyone has been blessed with work they enjoy. I have an acquaintance who became a doctor out of respect to his parents' wishes (Is it obvious he was Asian American? Maybe not...) but in his heart, what he really wanted was to become an attorney. I always wondered how he approached his work when his heart was somewhere else. I know others who have had bosses from hell, career paths that weren't as interesting as they anticipated, or toiled at dead-end jobs. What would my approach to work be if I was in these situations? Would I still be "happy Bernard" or have my "no regrets" view of life?
I hope I would be the same; but I don't know for sure. Frankly, I hope I never have to find out. I am trying to look at Jesus Christ and his view on life; trying to learn from him. Jesus said, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:45 New International Version)
Jesus' statement can be applied to every segment of life. For work, if we take the perspective that we are working to serve others, it allows us to embrace even the most dreadful situation and turn it into something positive. Instead of focusing on ourselves, our goals and desires, it enables us to focus on doing our work well. Period. I suspect this approach wouldn't sit well with the "prosperity movement" since those who have a servant attitude don’t expect any reward.
Of course this doesn't mean we should be impractical or sit there like a log and let people abuse us and take advantage of us. Actually, Jesus does say those inconvenient things about turning the other cheek and going the second mile and loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us... But I don’t see any reason you can’t have a giving attitude while still being a top performer or servant leader.
Jesus was great leader and an incredibly strong person — it’s on every page of the gospels. And he didn't expect a reward; he didn’t come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.
Somehow, I think that sounds like a game-changer.
Originally posted at InsideWork
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Is Your Work Less Valuable?
(heads up since this is a religious post)
Last Sunday a guest pastor preached a sermon on Matthew 6:19-24. Perhaps you know the passage:
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...
No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
It’s a common theme into which the speaker inserted a very common story. He described a friend at Stanford who could have been a promising professional, but instead decided on a nonprofit working with underprivileged children.
Later, I discussed the sermon with my wife, Christine. “The sermon was decent, but why do so many pastors tell a story where a promising professional decides to enter the ministry, mission field, or nonprofit sector as a great sacrifice? Aren’t they stating that other careers are less noble or even less godly? I think it’s weird and the wrong message.”
“Maybe all pastors learn how to speak about this topic from the same textbook?” Christine replied.
“Hahaha, I guess so.”
I continued to ponder this for the next couple of days. Are these sermons really about money? Is there a notion for some believers in Christ that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil” actually means “money is evil?” I hope not. That would be too simplistic. My favorite preacher, Tim Keller, explained this difference well by stating that the problem for the rich man in Luke 16:19-31 was not that he is was rich, but that it consumed him. It was his motivation for being and the source of his pride to the point that he despised those without wealth.
There are obviously many wealthy and faithful believers, today and throughout history who have made tremendous contributions of resources, time, and ideas. But faithfulness is not even about wealth. What about blue-collar workers and white-collar professionals? Is their work less meaningful than the work of a missionary or pastor? Can they not make an impact for Christ through their work?
Questions continued to fill my thoughts. Why is working in the nonprofit field a sacrifice? Maybe some people are just wired for the nonprofit field so God led them there? It seems to me that sometimes our society’s values become infused into our Biblical values. I have a few close friends who are pastors and missionaries. Some of them could have done well in the corporate world or as entrepreneurs, but their desire was to choose another path. I don’t see this as a sacrifice; it’s where their hearts and God led them. Somewhere close to half of my class from graduate school went on to the nonprofit or government sectors. This was where they wanted to be and a good fit for their skills and personality. Some of them could do well in the business world, and some of them are the most intelligent and capable people I know. I don’t see them lower on the totem pole of life and I hope they don’t see me on a lesser plane because I am in business.
I was reading an article on Joel Osteen a few days before this sermon and realized that his sermons probably wouldn’t come across well at my church. His is a message of hope and considered “prosperity gospel” because he implies that belief in God will lead to success and wealth, which I suppose speaks well to the general public. Speaking that message to a congregation of critical-thinking, white collared professionals would probably garner a few sighs and eye-rolls. On the other side, I suppose our guest preacher probably took a common approach to churches like Menlo Park Presbyterian, where Christine and I attend, or Redeemer Church (where I attended when I lived in NYC) where they emphasize that relatively successful people should sacrifice more. But what do they mean by sacrifice? Change careers? Have everyone go into the mission field or work at nonprofit organizations? I hope not, since church buildings wouldn’t be funded, many nonprofits would shut down, and countless projects would lack volunteers and leaders. What is the right message? I know there isn’t an easy answer, but is there a balanced approach to embracing work in our lives? How do we keep our eyes focused on heaven while not becoming consumed by the call of money?
I guess a simple solution has been to shun the business world or lessen its value compared with more “noble duties.” In some circles, this attitude has created a culture where work is secondary, so people are more passionate and focused on their volunteer work at church. Imagine if Francis Collins thought of work as just a means and didn’t devote himself to his career? The ground-breaking discoveries of the Human Genome Project might have taken years longer to be discovered. Johann Sebastian Bach might not have touched the millions that have listened to him for centuries if he decided to limit himself in being a church organist.
During high school my mother and I got into an argument about how I was spending too much time at church. I was telling her that she should be happy that I wasn’t wasting my time with other things, but she wanted me to focus more on my studies. She told me I could make more of an impact in the world if I succeeded in business than in “church work.” Being immature and having a black and white worldview back then, I got upset and told her I wished she had dreams of me “saving souls” rather than success in the business world.
My mother replied, “Believe me, dear, you can make more of an impact when you have financial freedom. Your father and I support so many ministries because we’ve been blessed in this way.”
In hindsight, my mother probably wanted to kill any desire I might have had to be a missionary since she knew that I would have been horrible in that field. Second, she was right that you can make as tremendous an impact through success in your work. I have seen this through the example of my parents and many others I have encountered.
"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." — 1 Timothy 6:17-19 New International Version
But I think it’s more than that. Work is not just a means to an end. It’s not about where the support comes from, or how we can sustain ourselves so we can do “God’s work.” It’s how many of us live our lives…How we work to glorify God — not just because of our jobs but in our jobs. I don’t think there’s anything second class about that.
Originally posted at InsideWork (no longer an active site).
Last Sunday a guest pastor preached a sermon on Matthew 6:19-24. Perhaps you know the passage:
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also...
No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
It’s a common theme into which the speaker inserted a very common story. He described a friend at Stanford who could have been a promising professional, but instead decided on a nonprofit working with underprivileged children.
Later, I discussed the sermon with my wife, Christine. “The sermon was decent, but why do so many pastors tell a story where a promising professional decides to enter the ministry, mission field, or nonprofit sector as a great sacrifice? Aren’t they stating that other careers are less noble or even less godly? I think it’s weird and the wrong message.”
“Maybe all pastors learn how to speak about this topic from the same textbook?” Christine replied.
“Hahaha, I guess so.”
I continued to ponder this for the next couple of days. Are these sermons really about money? Is there a notion for some believers in Christ that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil” actually means “money is evil?” I hope not. That would be too simplistic. My favorite preacher, Tim Keller, explained this difference well by stating that the problem for the rich man in Luke 16:19-31 was not that he is was rich, but that it consumed him. It was his motivation for being and the source of his pride to the point that he despised those without wealth.
There are obviously many wealthy and faithful believers, today and throughout history who have made tremendous contributions of resources, time, and ideas. But faithfulness is not even about wealth. What about blue-collar workers and white-collar professionals? Is their work less meaningful than the work of a missionary or pastor? Can they not make an impact for Christ through their work?
Questions continued to fill my thoughts. Why is working in the nonprofit field a sacrifice? Maybe some people are just wired for the nonprofit field so God led them there? It seems to me that sometimes our society’s values become infused into our Biblical values. I have a few close friends who are pastors and missionaries. Some of them could have done well in the corporate world or as entrepreneurs, but their desire was to choose another path. I don’t see this as a sacrifice; it’s where their hearts and God led them. Somewhere close to half of my class from graduate school went on to the nonprofit or government sectors. This was where they wanted to be and a good fit for their skills and personality. Some of them could do well in the business world, and some of them are the most intelligent and capable people I know. I don’t see them lower on the totem pole of life and I hope they don’t see me on a lesser plane because I am in business.
I was reading an article on Joel Osteen a few days before this sermon and realized that his sermons probably wouldn’t come across well at my church. His is a message of hope and considered “prosperity gospel” because he implies that belief in God will lead to success and wealth, which I suppose speaks well to the general public. Speaking that message to a congregation of critical-thinking, white collared professionals would probably garner a few sighs and eye-rolls. On the other side, I suppose our guest preacher probably took a common approach to churches like Menlo Park Presbyterian, where Christine and I attend, or Redeemer Church (where I attended when I lived in NYC) where they emphasize that relatively successful people should sacrifice more. But what do they mean by sacrifice? Change careers? Have everyone go into the mission field or work at nonprofit organizations? I hope not, since church buildings wouldn’t be funded, many nonprofits would shut down, and countless projects would lack volunteers and leaders. What is the right message? I know there isn’t an easy answer, but is there a balanced approach to embracing work in our lives? How do we keep our eyes focused on heaven while not becoming consumed by the call of money?
I guess a simple solution has been to shun the business world or lessen its value compared with more “noble duties.” In some circles, this attitude has created a culture where work is secondary, so people are more passionate and focused on their volunteer work at church. Imagine if Francis Collins thought of work as just a means and didn’t devote himself to his career? The ground-breaking discoveries of the Human Genome Project might have taken years longer to be discovered. Johann Sebastian Bach might not have touched the millions that have listened to him for centuries if he decided to limit himself in being a church organist.
During high school my mother and I got into an argument about how I was spending too much time at church. I was telling her that she should be happy that I wasn’t wasting my time with other things, but she wanted me to focus more on my studies. She told me I could make more of an impact in the world if I succeeded in business than in “church work.” Being immature and having a black and white worldview back then, I got upset and told her I wished she had dreams of me “saving souls” rather than success in the business world.
My mother replied, “Believe me, dear, you can make more of an impact when you have financial freedom. Your father and I support so many ministries because we’ve been blessed in this way.”
In hindsight, my mother probably wanted to kill any desire I might have had to be a missionary since she knew that I would have been horrible in that field. Second, she was right that you can make as tremendous an impact through success in your work. I have seen this through the example of my parents and many others I have encountered.
"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." — 1 Timothy 6:17-19 New International Version
But I think it’s more than that. Work is not just a means to an end. It’s not about where the support comes from, or how we can sustain ourselves so we can do “God’s work.” It’s how many of us live our lives…How we work to glorify God — not just because of our jobs but in our jobs. I don’t think there’s anything second class about that.
Originally posted at InsideWork (no longer an active site).
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Keeping Your Ethics Afloat For The Next Generation
Watching and hearing about my parents’ business experiences in Korea provided me with an excellent base of knowledge and expectations when I moved there in 2000 to start HeyAnita Korea, a joint venture between HeyAnita and Softbank.
Early on, I had a discussion with my friends and co-founders, Jimmy and Peter — Jimmy and I were the two on the team who had an explicit biblical worldview — in which we agreed we would hold to our principles and not conduct business in the manner that many people do within our space. Our company was a voice technology platform that depended on working relationships with South Korea’s telecommunication giants and government entities. Closing deals with people from these entities typically involved drinking with them in room salons, establishments similar to Japan’s geisha houses where most are not places of prostitution but drinking establishments.
Jimmy, Peter and I determined that it wasn’t practical for a startup to conduct business in this manner and we wanted to hold to our ethical principles. This caused some dismay among our employees, but we were happy and comfortable with our decision. I suppose it was a blessing that we were perceived as executives from the U.S. extending a U.S. company to Korea because this allowed people to more easily accept our scruples about providing money under the table or taking them drinking to room salons. Jimmy’s disarming personality certainly helped. I think his contagious laugh and engaging conversational skills could calm a raging grizzly. In any event, we found these primarily elder company representatives willing to back off from their typical expectations.
To be honest, there were rare situations in which we reluctantly agreed for some of our managers to take a customer drinking to close a big deal. We didn’t like it but we decided it was a reality we had to face. While it might seem silly to most people, we actually had executive meetings on these decisions. We acknowledged that not everyone holds the same values in the business world nor are they bound to respect our values. We definitely weighed the costs of our decision, balancing our corporate values, our responsibility as executives of the company, our obligation to our investors, board, and employees. Compromise was not an easy pill to swallow.
I believe these decisions were made somewhat easier because they never directly harmed an entity, never directly lined our pockets, never paid for unlawful activities and we were not personally involved in questionable social-business behavior. Had there been bribery involved, we would have not done the deal no matter how much revenue it generated for us.
Over the years, I have seen and experienced numerous difficult situations where I and others have had to wrestle to remain conscientious and hold onto our ethical principles. I saw one person walk away from tens of millions because he refused to tarnish his reputation and deceive his colleagues. His colleague who didn’t hold the same values walked away with tens of millions — but lost many relationships and his reputation forever. When my close friends and I heard this, we were baffled. Why would anyone sacrifice their friendships and reputation for money? A million, ten million or hundred million…none of it would be worth it for us.
I’m grateful for what I learned from my parents and by working with honorable partners like Peter and Jimmy about the value of standing on principle, even when principle threatens the bottom line. This is a legacy I plan to pass along to the next generation in my household.
Originally published at InsideWork
UPDATE: The people over at Blogged were nice enough to feature this post in their business section.
Early on, I had a discussion with my friends and co-founders, Jimmy and Peter — Jimmy and I were the two on the team who had an explicit biblical worldview — in which we agreed we would hold to our principles and not conduct business in the manner that many people do within our space. Our company was a voice technology platform that depended on working relationships with South Korea’s telecommunication giants and government entities. Closing deals with people from these entities typically involved drinking with them in room salons, establishments similar to Japan’s geisha houses where most are not places of prostitution but drinking establishments.
Jimmy, Peter and I determined that it wasn’t practical for a startup to conduct business in this manner and we wanted to hold to our ethical principles. This caused some dismay among our employees, but we were happy and comfortable with our decision. I suppose it was a blessing that we were perceived as executives from the U.S. extending a U.S. company to Korea because this allowed people to more easily accept our scruples about providing money under the table or taking them drinking to room salons. Jimmy’s disarming personality certainly helped. I think his contagious laugh and engaging conversational skills could calm a raging grizzly. In any event, we found these primarily elder company representatives willing to back off from their typical expectations.
To be honest, there were rare situations in which we reluctantly agreed for some of our managers to take a customer drinking to close a big deal. We didn’t like it but we decided it was a reality we had to face. While it might seem silly to most people, we actually had executive meetings on these decisions. We acknowledged that not everyone holds the same values in the business world nor are they bound to respect our values. We definitely weighed the costs of our decision, balancing our corporate values, our responsibility as executives of the company, our obligation to our investors, board, and employees. Compromise was not an easy pill to swallow.
I believe these decisions were made somewhat easier because they never directly harmed an entity, never directly lined our pockets, never paid for unlawful activities and we were not personally involved in questionable social-business behavior. Had there been bribery involved, we would have not done the deal no matter how much revenue it generated for us.
Over the years, I have seen and experienced numerous difficult situations where I and others have had to wrestle to remain conscientious and hold onto our ethical principles. I saw one person walk away from tens of millions because he refused to tarnish his reputation and deceive his colleagues. His colleague who didn’t hold the same values walked away with tens of millions — but lost many relationships and his reputation forever. When my close friends and I heard this, we were baffled. Why would anyone sacrifice their friendships and reputation for money? A million, ten million or hundred million…none of it would be worth it for us.
I’m grateful for what I learned from my parents and by working with honorable partners like Peter and Jimmy about the value of standing on principle, even when principle threatens the bottom line. This is a legacy I plan to pass along to the next generation in my household.
Originally published at InsideWork
UPDATE: The people over at Blogged were nice enough to feature this post in their business section.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Keeping Your Ethics Afloat in Unfriendly Waters
More than two decades after immigrating to the U.S. my parents returned to Korea to establish a coffee chain. They were young when they first emigrated from South Korea and their formative business ventures were in the United States. So this was their first time doing business in a foreign country and, though they started life in Korea, the business conditions were unfriendly waters to them. In the post-war years, Korea rose rapidly to become the 11th largest economy in the world, but many corporate and social practices were still underdeveloped, especially in terms of ethics and moral obligation. My parents faced a system of commerce that was filled with graft; where sharks regularly swam across all industries.
I recall one situation very clearly to this day. My parents were trying to obtain a space in a major Korean department store. When the manager of the store made it clear he expected some money under the table, my parents stuck by their principles and didn’t give in to this “traditional” form of business in the department store industry. My father knew the supervisor several levels above this manager, but he didn’t want to play that card — at least not yet. My mother told the manager she would report him to his superiors. He was livid that someone would dare to say such a thing. The meeting ended abruptly and my parents returned to their office. After simmering on it for a few hours, my mother decided to address a letter explaining the situation to the local manager’s supervisor. Her employees freaked out.
“That’s not the Korean way, Mrs. Moon! You just don’t do that here… It won’t work!”
My mother replied, “There is no ‘Korean way’ — there is never only one way to do things. I will show you that you can change how things are done. Don’t limit your thinking!”
My mother prayed about the conflict, drafted the letter and my parents set another meeting with the local manager. I don’t know what the manager expected from them, but what he got was a stern warning and a promise. They showed him the letter, but also gave a promise that their coffee store would generate the most revenue for his division. Amazingly, he backed down from his demand for a bribe. My parents established their location in his store and it came to generate the most revenue for several years.
My parents’ employees were shocked at the turnaround. It was an incredibly rare occurrence to avoid the established order of business in Korea. They learned that change can come about in small ways by holding to the principles you decide to follow.
I learned too. Whether national culture or corporate culture and norms, my parents’ principled actions and evenhanded tactics taught me that change is always possible, even when the waves of tradition seem too strong to resist. One stand against those waves can disperse them and create ripples of positive change in a company, industry or nation.
Originally published at InsideWork
I recall one situation very clearly to this day. My parents were trying to obtain a space in a major Korean department store. When the manager of the store made it clear he expected some money under the table, my parents stuck by their principles and didn’t give in to this “traditional” form of business in the department store industry. My father knew the supervisor several levels above this manager, but he didn’t want to play that card — at least not yet. My mother told the manager she would report him to his superiors. He was livid that someone would dare to say such a thing. The meeting ended abruptly and my parents returned to their office. After simmering on it for a few hours, my mother decided to address a letter explaining the situation to the local manager’s supervisor. Her employees freaked out.
“That’s not the Korean way, Mrs. Moon! You just don’t do that here… It won’t work!”
My mother replied, “There is no ‘Korean way’ — there is never only one way to do things. I will show you that you can change how things are done. Don’t limit your thinking!”
My mother prayed about the conflict, drafted the letter and my parents set another meeting with the local manager. I don’t know what the manager expected from them, but what he got was a stern warning and a promise. They showed him the letter, but also gave a promise that their coffee store would generate the most revenue for his division. Amazingly, he backed down from his demand for a bribe. My parents established their location in his store and it came to generate the most revenue for several years.
My parents’ employees were shocked at the turnaround. It was an incredibly rare occurrence to avoid the established order of business in Korea. They learned that change can come about in small ways by holding to the principles you decide to follow.
I learned too. Whether national culture or corporate culture and norms, my parents’ principled actions and evenhanded tactics taught me that change is always possible, even when the waves of tradition seem too strong to resist. One stand against those waves can disperse them and create ripples of positive change in a company, industry or nation.
Originally published at InsideWork
Monday, June 30, 2008
New InsideWork Site Launched... Win Some Free Stuff!
One of our portfolio companies that I'm involved with is InsideWork. It's a business site for the spiritually engaged that seeks to "transform the soul of commerce." They launched a new version of the website today. Check it out if this interests you. More from opening post:
Welcome to InsideWork 3.0
The new look at InsideWork® is more than cosmetic. You're looking at Day One in the third iteration of InsideWork® — reengineered from the core out to deliver our third generation of content.
Our first content migration took InsideWork® from a standard let-us-tell-you-all-about-us website to a blog-style news and comment presentation — a significant step to be sure. But what you're looking at now is more than an incremental step; it's a leap to our future as a media platform delivering every class of content and interaction right down to the cellphone level. Expect to find an emerging experience tailored to the way you live and the pace you keep...
And there is some incentive to explore the new site by giving away free stuff (books, t-shirts, music devices, etc.):
Each Monday from June 30 - August 4, 2008, we’re giving away cool stuff to people who enter the hidden door: door-small1.png
Every Monday the hidden door will move to a new location. Find it, click to enter, and follow the simple instructions on the other side. It’s our way of inviting you to explore the new architecture and find what InsideWork has for you.
First up: The first six people who respond on June 30, will receive a copy of Seth Godin’s The Big Moo (an InsideWork favorite).
Those who respond after the first six will be entered in a drawing for a mighty fine prize at the end.
So… browse, enjoy, tell your friends, let us know what you think.
Welcome to InsideWork 3.0
The new look at InsideWork® is more than cosmetic. You're looking at Day One in the third iteration of InsideWork® — reengineered from the core out to deliver our third generation of content.
Our first content migration took InsideWork® from a standard let-us-tell-you-all-about-us website to a blog-style news and comment presentation — a significant step to be sure. But what you're looking at now is more than an incremental step; it's a leap to our future as a media platform delivering every class of content and interaction right down to the cellphone level. Expect to find an emerging experience tailored to the way you live and the pace you keep...
And there is some incentive to explore the new site by giving away free stuff (books, t-shirts, music devices, etc.):
Each Monday from June 30 - August 4, 2008, we’re giving away cool stuff to people who enter the hidden door: door-small1.png
Every Monday the hidden door will move to a new location. Find it, click to enter, and follow the simple instructions on the other side. It’s our way of inviting you to explore the new architecture and find what InsideWork has for you.
First up: The first six people who respond on June 30, will receive a copy of Seth Godin’s The Big Moo (an InsideWork favorite).
Those who respond after the first six will be entered in a drawing for a mighty fine prize at the end.
So… browse, enjoy, tell your friends, let us know what you think.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Building Relationships and Influence... Lessons from Dad
I wrote a short blog post at Insidework:
One of the many qualities I respect in my father is his ability to build relationships. He knows hundreds of people well — and thousands on the periphery of his life — from eating and drinking and playing golf together. I’ve met several people somewhat like my father, but he’s part of a smaller subset that breeds true loyalty in relationships. How many people do you know have friends they’ve known since grade school who would sacrifice for them half a century later?
I believe there are several qualities that allowed him to build up such friendships.
* No judgment. My father never judged his friends, and openly welcomed them to his home, even during his childhood. I have listened to many of his friends tell me how they grew up eating at my grandparents’ home because my father constantly invited them. I’ve met his friends across a wide spectrum of achievement each of whom he cherished whole-heartedly.
* Incredible patience. While I like to think I followed after my father in many of his qualities, I cannot match his patience. One story is when he helped a friend gain an executive position at a major corporation. That same friend back-stabbed him on a business deal a year earlier… but my father still helped him. No one in our family could understand this. I honestly would have sought some type of revenge, but my father paid him back in kindness. Incredibly, this was before my father began following Christ, so I have no explanation but that my father’s policy was to always do good to others.
* “Influence is like a savings account.” This is a phrase my father repeated while I was growing up and it has been with me ever since. He was always willing to help others, but some things took more effort than others. It was in these situations that he taught me to weigh the costs. He told me, “Bernard, influence is like a savings account, once you use it it’s gone.”
I believe my father’s qualities are universally effective in building strong relationships throughout life. Following his principles — however imperfectly, and even when they go against the grain — has helped me create a solid foundation among my friends and colleagues at work.
One of the many qualities I respect in my father is his ability to build relationships. He knows hundreds of people well — and thousands on the periphery of his life — from eating and drinking and playing golf together. I’ve met several people somewhat like my father, but he’s part of a smaller subset that breeds true loyalty in relationships. How many people do you know have friends they’ve known since grade school who would sacrifice for them half a century later?
I believe there are several qualities that allowed him to build up such friendships.
* No judgment. My father never judged his friends, and openly welcomed them to his home, even during his childhood. I have listened to many of his friends tell me how they grew up eating at my grandparents’ home because my father constantly invited them. I’ve met his friends across a wide spectrum of achievement each of whom he cherished whole-heartedly.
* Incredible patience. While I like to think I followed after my father in many of his qualities, I cannot match his patience. One story is when he helped a friend gain an executive position at a major corporation. That same friend back-stabbed him on a business deal a year earlier… but my father still helped him. No one in our family could understand this. I honestly would have sought some type of revenge, but my father paid him back in kindness. Incredibly, this was before my father began following Christ, so I have no explanation but that my father’s policy was to always do good to others.
* “Influence is like a savings account.” This is a phrase my father repeated while I was growing up and it has been with me ever since. He was always willing to help others, but some things took more effort than others. It was in these situations that he taught me to weigh the costs. He told me, “Bernard, influence is like a savings account, once you use it it’s gone.”
I believe my father’s qualities are universally effective in building strong relationships throughout life. Following his principles — however imperfectly, and even when they go against the grain — has helped me create a solid foundation among my friends and colleagues at work.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
A Great Three Months, But Chill Time is Over
It's been a great three months since I left GoingOn Networks and transitioned to an advisory role for the company I co-founded. During my three years with GoingOn, I typically worked 80 to 100 hours a week, lived on Red Bull, and loved being dedicated to and working towards our company's vision. I was also blessed with an understanding wife who was an investment banker for 3 years so she couldn't complain about my hours since hers use to be worse :)
Since I left I ratcheted down my work week to about 30 to 40 hours. I increased my time to the startups I was advising, began to blog here again, write more articles, and started exploring for my next gig (tech? internet? biofuels?). I also caught up with personal items I never had time for, such as organizing our wedding pictures and putting them up online for our guests (our wedding was almost 3 years ago:). I was a Facebook geek uploading our travel pictures and other random photos, and I'm still a Facebook geek.
I was also looking to volunteer more of my time with nonprofits. I approach one that I knew of and told them in December I could dedicate 5-10 hours week for a month or so depending on the project. First opportunity was stuffing envelopes, so I politely passed. I asked for projects "more suited to my skill set" and I never heard from them again.
This was a bit confusing, but I eventually learned that some nonprofits are simply in survival mode and many times don't need high-level strategic thinking, efforts to develop new initiatives, or other projects that would interest someone like myself.
This time was also enjoyable because I got to attend more events around Silicon Valley, such as last night's Churchill Club event ("The Green Rush: Prospects, Perils, and Opportunities") and a chance to meet new interesting and cool people. Through my increased networking time, I've been blessed with a possible new opportunity to serve on another nonprofit board, invited to attend the Socrates Society seminars at the Aspen Institute in mid-February, and going to Ted@Aspen with Christine at the end of February.
I believe this time off has allowed me to adjust some of my priorities, so I decided to set aside more time for my writing and nonprofit commitments even after I start working full-time again. It's been a very fruitful time off, and hopefully I can post about my next gig soon :)
Since I left I ratcheted down my work week to about 30 to 40 hours. I increased my time to the startups I was advising, began to blog here again, write more articles, and started exploring for my next gig (tech? internet? biofuels?). I also caught up with personal items I never had time for, such as organizing our wedding pictures and putting them up online for our guests (our wedding was almost 3 years ago:). I was a Facebook geek uploading our travel pictures and other random photos, and I'm still a Facebook geek.
I was also looking to volunteer more of my time with nonprofits. I approach one that I knew of and told them in December I could dedicate 5-10 hours week for a month or so depending on the project. First opportunity was stuffing envelopes, so I politely passed. I asked for projects "more suited to my skill set" and I never heard from them again.
This was a bit confusing, but I eventually learned that some nonprofits are simply in survival mode and many times don't need high-level strategic thinking, efforts to develop new initiatives, or other projects that would interest someone like myself.
This time was also enjoyable because I got to attend more events around Silicon Valley, such as last night's Churchill Club event ("The Green Rush: Prospects, Perils, and Opportunities") and a chance to meet new interesting and cool people. Through my increased networking time, I've been blessed with a possible new opportunity to serve on another nonprofit board, invited to attend the Socrates Society seminars at the Aspen Institute in mid-February, and going to Ted@Aspen with Christine at the end of February.
I believe this time off has allowed me to adjust some of my priorities, so I decided to set aside more time for my writing and nonprofit commitments even after I start working full-time again. It's been a very fruitful time off, and hopefully I can post about my next gig soon :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)