Wedding Week of Craziness

This past week two friends got married in Seoul. Dave got married on Friday and Andy on Saturday, but it was Dave's wedding that killed me this week. It was so physically draining especially since I got sick from the change in temperature in Seoul and I didn’t take off time from work. It was a week packed with events, dinners, and sappy lines.

I think Dave loved the process of announcing his happiness and love to all of Seoul. If time and money weren't constraining factors, I almost believe he would have done a world tour for his wedding with stops in at least 10 cities worldwide. Even if there was one friend in a city, he still would have set up at least a small gala.

Okay, I'm exaggerating but Dave set up an event everyday last week, Monday through Friday. To be fair, many of his friends came from the U.S. and London, so I believe he wanted to take care of them and make sure they had a great time in Seoul during his wedding week. This schedule just took a toll on my chunky, old body.

Dave is such a sap and a cheese. By the end of the wedding, there were at least eight toasts that were given. There might have been more, but I probably phased those out of my memory. I have never been to a wedding with more than three toasts and majority have at most two (best man and maid of honor). I’ve been to over eighty weddings… a groomsmen ten times and an usher almost another ten (trying not to toot my horn, but just saying to make a stronger point… okay, tooting a little to beef up my wedding planning business:). I’ve never experienced so many toasts and speeches. Dave wanted it, it was his day, so he got it, and I have enough cheese to last me ten years. Dave can probably be an honorary “toastmaster” after this week.

Anyway, it was a great time and fun to hangout with some of his friends I never met before. Of course, we have a few mutual friends so I got to hang with the “Manimal” and “Doh” who came to Seoul for the wedding.

Manimal was in full form. I thought there might have been some rust on his bones after being exiled to a quiet city in the U.S., but his skill and stamina never diminished. He just needed to hear the call of the wild again to awake his dormant soul, and Seoul responded by crying out his name throughout the week. His howls were heard throughout the night with passion almost everyday last week (censored for children, so I cannot continue on).

Doh is a great guy from NYC. Unassuming, gentle soul that reminds you a little bit of St. Nick and Winnie the Pooh combined. His deep, slightly raspy voice automatically puts you at ease when he greets you, “What’s up, bruther?!” His wide shoulders and cautious strides reflect the comfort and happiness within his life. His smile can be contagious when you talk to him, so all these qualities never lead you believe that THIS IS ALL A LIE (for effect… of course all I said is true about Doh).

His business school classmates call him “The Fierce” and there was ample evidence this past week to understand why. The Fierce shut down Manimal’s attempts to go clubbing last Wednesday because HE was tired. I don’t know many people that have ever muffled the Manimal’s call of the wild, but The Fierce did it. Classic moment when The Fierce was giving a toast and people were still talking in the back of the wedding reception hall.

“Yo, people! I’m trying to have MY MOMENT with Dave…”

If people didn’t pipe down, I guarantee you that there would have been some heads rolling and gnashing of teeth. A scary moment for me. My heart skipped a beat in fear for those people’s lives.

I’ve experienced a similar situation. This past May when I visited NYC I offered to set up Doh with my friend’s friend. About a month after my trip, I get a message from Doh, “Yo! People in New York are saying you’re a talker, Bernard. Are you a talker? I think you’re a talker...”

I was confused because I initially didn’t know what he was referring to and I have never been called a “talker.” I soon found out that I forgot to immediately set up Doh up with the person I promised. It was The Fierce’s way to remind me that I dropped the ball.

I apologized and told him that I was just busy and didn’t drop the ball, but he wouldn’t accept it. Prodded towards action, I immediately called my friend and the date was set in a week. I learned not to mess with The Fierce that day.

Last wedding episode that cracked me up was about the Junger. Junger is a big, lovable guy. He’ll just walk up to you and smack you with a wet kiss on the cheek. At first I felt violated, but now it’s like getting a kiss from grandma. Anyway, I went to some people and asked them to make some of the bridesmaids feel comfortable since most of them were visiting from the U.S., and the majority of wedding guests were from Seoul. So Junger hears this and seeks to help out. He walks in front of four of the bridesmaids, stops and turns towards them, and then starts to dance… early 90’s style with a bit of sexiness.

I start laughing and ask him, “What are you doing?”

“Dude, I’m entertaining them… (cabbage patch, cabbage patch) Isn’t this what you asked for? (running man, running man)… Hey, ladies! You like?... ;) ;) (roger rabbit, roger rabbit)”

The bridesmaids first had a look of confusion. One cracked a smile while the others were still processing what the heck was going on. Meanwhile, some other guys that I asked to help went up to them and started a conversation, which was what I first imagined. I cracked up more because Junger was also a Brazilian Jiu-jitsu teacher and coach. He’s a badass that trains Delta Force guys in martial arts, and he was dancing like a big, provocative Paddington Bear. Almost similar to the effect Yogi Bear had in the cartoons. The cartoon people saw this big brown bear come at them and fear initially struck their hearts, but then he started to talk, joke around, dance, and then ate their food which created confusion and some joy. Junger was the same minus the talking and stealing of food.