DRUNKEN MONKEYS OR RABID PUPPY DOGS
"Drunken Thirty Year Olds Create Havoc in Korean BBQ House"

This past Saturday was a surreal night out with some of my friends (names changed to protect the innocent). At one moment I was eating some Korean BBQ, then I looked up at my friend, Limmy, briefly placing a choke-hold on our friend Mongs (who is twice his size and could crush Limmy like a cheap tin can) and biting his neck like a vampire. It wasn't just a nibble, but a full bite with the head movement of an attacking pitbull.

Taking a step back, you would see in front of me Mongs in a choke-hold getting bit by Limmy, to the left our friend Sal clapping like a toy monkey and seemingly encouraging Limmy on to his death, and to the right Willy violently laughing. In the background there was a run down building with piles of metal sheets and pipes in front for the beginning of a new construction. We were all in a Gogi (meat) restaurant in a back alley of Seoul. The irrational laughter mixed with the violence in the air could have easily placed us in some Stanley Kubrick movie.

Next scene you see Limmy and Sal bitch-slapping each other and then standing up and wrestling while the restaurant staff tries to ignore us and sits at a far table washing their lettuce. Mongs who isn't drunk at this point is standing up and making sure these overgrown puppy dogs don't hurt each other. Limmy already fell backwards on his own in slow motion due to his drunken state trying to grab some side railing that wasn't there. Then Ralph, one of our other friends, starts yelling at people as they walk by trying to instigate a fight.

Half of the group was drunk and violent, the restaurant was our battleground, and the world was oblivious to us. Anybody that passed by this restaurant at 2am that evening must have briefly seen an odd sight but turned away for fear of being attacked.

After this weekend, I have decided to call Limmy "Lestat", the vampire that Tom Cruise played in "Interview With a Vampire". Recently on his Friendster site I wrote a flattering quote and compared him to Kane from Kungfu. While that comparison still might apply, Lestat is more appropriate now. He will probably think it's because I'm comparing him to Tom Cruise since he thinks he's "GQ Limmy", but after witnessing four neck attacks I cannot call him anything else.