DECOMPRESSION FROM KOREA... MANGLED WORDS FROM GREY MATTER

Over the past few months, I found myself at times pausing and searching for words or phrases in English. What is worse is when I cannot find the right word at all or I mangle the English language. After four years in Korea, even though I primarily spoke English there, my language skills have deteriorated to a minor degree. Speaking with other friends that have gone through similar transitional periods, I found this typically lasts between three to six months. During this time, I can only laugh at myself and endure some of my friends calling me "FOB" (Fresh Off the Boat) or enjoy making them laugh hysterically.

Last week, while at Cheesecake Factory in San Francisco, I was searching in my head for the branded chocolate cheesecake they carry.

"God-via?"

"What??" my friend exclaimed.

Immediately, the correct pronunciation came to mind and I quickly said, "Godiva... Godiva cheesecake..."

"BAWWWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Godvia? Hahahaha...."

SCRABBLED ENGLISH
Writing about this reminded me of some other situations among friends. One time some of my friends were playing Scrabble. There was "boot" on the board and one person put down a "f" on top of the "b" of "boot."

Then you hear a loud, "Foot?! What's "foot?" There's no such word as "foot!" ('foot' like 'boot', not 'fut' as it should be pronounced)

"Dude, you're saying it wrong"

"Nooo! There is no such word as "foot!"

After a few minutes, he realized his little pronunciation error. It was more hilarious because he was so adamant for minutes that "foot" wasn't a word.

DOUBLE CHECK STREET SIGNS AND DIRECTIONS
My friend was getting directions from a person who said to go down "No-Yes Street."

"No-Yes?... You mean Noyes Street ('noise')?