KERRY FUNNIES

"Kerry was here in Los Angeles. He was courting the Spanish vote by speaking Spanish. And he showed people he could be boring in two languages." -Jay Leno (The Tonight Show).

Hat Tip to James Taranto:
Meanwhile, the Onion (warning: some off-color content) has a list of proposed Kerry slogans that fit right into this "theory":

* "Kerry: You'd Probably Like Him if You Got to Know Him."

* "Vote Kerry in 2004, because life is a miasma of confusion, pain, and loneliness."

* "Kerry: A voice of reason who's killed, like, 20 dudes."

* "The election is still a long way off, so go about the business of living your lives until a week or so before voting day, at which point you should really give some thought to John Kerry."

* "John Kerry: Certainly not worse."