JIMMY HAS LEFT THE HOUSE!
Celebrity Life in Korea Tires Out A Legend

My good friend Jimmy left Korea a week ago to go back to Los Angeles to rest and to decide upon his future. He recently left his investment fund/incubator and has some heavy decisions to make during his six week stay in LA. Which country to work in for the next few years, consulting or banking or corporate, whether he should take a job offer in LA or not, stay in Korea with his harem or his girlfriend in LA (just kidding, j!)...

Anyway, Jimmy (otherwise known as "Limmy Lun" in a previous entry) is my only friend who actually asked me to write about him in my blog. I know a fair amount of healthy egos in this world and among my friends, but Jimmy might be the mountain among all those mole hills. I had various thoughts about how to approach this... Do I exaggerate for my own amusement? Do I write a humerous piece for the enjoyment of others? Do I tell a fable with a life lesson at the end? But my conscious weighed heavily upon my heart, so I decided to tell the truth. Only the truth will do justice to Jimmy's celebrity lifestyle in Korea.

Jimmy is a good-looking man with chiseled features and a smirk for a smile. One time a woman, probably high on coke, told Jimmy that he looks like a Korean Antonio Banderas, which was very funny to hear. To be honest, he looks more like a Korean Erik Estrada. Almost slick looking but still has a trustworthy face like a young Michael Corleone. This is the look that gets him in trouble.

One example I remember last year was when a bunch of our friends attended this year-end party for the fashion industry in Korea. Towards the end of the party, while I drank my milk in the corner of the bar, Jimmy was in his usual post at the bar surrounded by various women. One young lady approached him and said, "My friend is asking that you come over. She's the famous designer, Lee SooKyung (name changed to protect the random)."

He looks carefully at the lady and says, "No. I'm sorry. I'm not interested."

The young lady asked him again, but Jimmy politely refuses as he looks around. I don't know if Jimmy at this point thought the actual offer was from the young woman, but I do know that he thought she was ugly because he could barely look at her when she spoke. He's such a shallow guy.

Anyway, so the young woman walked away. A few minutes later, a woman in her upper-thirties stands next to Jimmy and places her arm upon his shoulders. Rubbing it ever so gently. Jimmy slowly turns and his stern lips bend into a smile.

"Hello."

"Hello."

"Do you know who I am?"

"No."

"Well, I'm Lee SooKyung. If you come with me tonight by tomorrow morning, I will make you famous throughout Seoul. Throughout Korea..."

Jimmy pauses and smiles again. She rubs again but lower on his body. Jimmy pauses and then says, "I can't. I'm sorry."

"I will give you pleasure beyond what you can only dream of... sex that you have only read about..."

"Mhhhmm...," clearing his throat and becoming blush with the rush of a thousand images flooding his mind, "I'm sorry... I can't."

The famous designer glared at Jimmy and walked away. The next day Jimmy was bragging to EVERYONE about the story... calling his girlfriend in LA, friends, and ex-girlfriends.

More recently, a few months back Jimmy became acquainted with a famous singer in Korea, Kim Ji Hyun (to the asia illiterate, last names come first). Jimmy and my other friend Billy became hangout buddies with her. One evening after some party they attended, they were at a restaurant sobering up and eating. Koh Chong Soo, a famous Korean soccer player, who was friends with Ji Hyun became a little feisty. He has a reputation for having a bad temper and getting into scuffles, and just had a fight with a pop singer the week before. Anyway, for some reason there was tension between him and Jimmy... jealousy in thinking Ji Hyun was madly in love with the Korean Erik Estrada? hatred of pretty boys? who knows? But as they left the restaurant, Chong Soo sucker punched Jimmy and then started to kick him on the ground.

The next week it was all over the press in Korea. This story was on every sports daily (Korea's tabloids, which are more like the Sun in the UK and less like the National Enquirer) and a few other newspapers. Jimmy was a star.

So if you want to become famous in a small international market and the desire of thousands of women, follow the path of my friend, Jimmy.


*Disclaimer. The overall events described here have been truthful. The details of the events and conversations have been exaggerated and scripted for entertainment purposes.

**Shoutout: public recognition or praise of a friend, associate, or institution. typically in written form within open public forums online or verbal form within offline open mike gatherings.

***Wipeout (my new word): public recognition and smearing of a friend, associate, or institution for one's own selfish amusement.